“For” is Greater than “To”

Years ago, a seemingly simple conversation I had with a coach in high school changed my life. I was seventeen and life had become overwhelming.  Mr. Silver was “that coach,” the one who set the bar high and knew his players.  He saw I was struggling. He knew my 17-year-old ego would never ask for help.   But he was relentless, and I knew he wouldn’t let this go. One deep breath and I let everything I had been holding in out.  I expected his response to be to work harder,  “you should do this or you should do that.”   Instead, he asked questions, heard my answers and introduced me to the world of “perspective.”

He said: “There are two types of people in this world. The first is a person who thinks life happens TO them and they don’t want to be guided, helped, or coached. That person thinks that they know it all and everyone else is the problem. The other type of person thinks life happens FOR them and they CAN be guided, helped, and coached. This person knows that no matter how great they are at what they are focusing on – be it career, sports, music, art, relationships, or finances – their responsibility is to Be-Coachable. They somehow understand that by perceiving life experiences as something happening FOR them, they’re able to receive help and guidance to make them even better than where they started.”

He then proceeded to say, “If you perceive that everything that happens in your life is happening TO you then you will be in constant suffering. You will eventually reside in this state of being which is a state of victim consciousness. The blame you put on everything that doesn’t go your way will isolate you from helping yourself learn, grow, heal, and evolve. However, if you perceive that everything that happens in your life is happening FOR you then you will become your own best teacher. You will explore your experiences as opportunities to learn, grow, heal, and evolve.” He ended with this, “Always remember that FOR is GREATER than TO.”

This advice altered me into a deep state of calmness. Everything that happens in my life I now see as an opportunity to know myself better and better. This advice stayed with me throughout everything that I have experienced since that moment my coach gave it to me. I encourage you to give yourself permission to join me in this perspective as you explore and use the tools in this book to help you seek out your soulful journey. 

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